Ceri Louise Reads

Now we all know that the best Christmas movie of all time is The Muppet Christmas Carol, no debate needed. But if you’ve already watched that this year and need something else to get you in the festive spirit before the big day, I am here to help.

October and November were difficult months for me for various reasons, so I decided to get my Christmas on early, as it’s my favourite time of the year, and the UK’s Channel 5 on demand service, My5 was happy to oblige. So over the past six weeks I have watched 31 hallmark-style Christmas movies and I’m here to tell you which were the very best and very worst of the bunch. Of course there were many many more that I didn’t get around to watching, but hey, there’s always next year!

I’ve separated the films into five categories and I will go through them from the worst to the very best! I’ll give you a brief synopsis and the reason for the ranking. The categories are: Just Bad; Just Ridiculous Enough To Not Be Completely Terrible; So Bad It’s Good; Actually Pretty Cute; and I’m Amazed How Much I Enjoyed That.

Before I get into the rankings though, there was one film that I couldn’t decide how to categorise… it wasn’t a romance, so it was lovely and poignant more than cute. On IMDB it’s listed as Heaven Down Here but My5 called it A Taste of Christmas and it was about four people – a pastor, a nurse, a waitress and her manager – who get snowed in at a diner together and each experience a Christmas miracle. So it gets an honourable mention, rather than a ranking.

Now onto the rankings, starting with…

Just Bad

31). A Star For Christmas (not to be confused with another film of the same name that will feature later. This film was about a developer who finds out that random parcels of land from the Christmas Tree farm she wants to turn into a hotel were raffled off in the 60s to different people from the small town of Happy Hollow. She teams up with the town historian to track down the five raffle winners to get them to agree to the hotel. I liked the premise, but the writers were trying too hard to make the town like Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls, and I couldn’t believe that a town with that many immigrants with distinct cultural traditions wouldn’t already have a hotel. Also, there was zero chemistry between the leads and the title made no sense.

30). Christmas Love Letter A lifestyle journalist receives an anonymous love letter in a Christmas card from one of her exes, so travels back to her home town to work out who sent it. There was a weird storyline about a robot dog (which was clearly a real dog) and the love interest’s child quickly slipped from cutely precocious to just plain annoying. The female main character (fmc) was pretty annoying too, and the film’s fate was sealed when she tried to move a wheelchair user without permission and was butthurt that the lady got upset when she was “only trying to help” *eye roll*

29). Christmas Matchmakers two overworked employees decide to set their bosses up in the hopes of getting some time off at Christmas. This started out pretty cute but I didn’t fully believe in the relationship between the bosses, we didn’t see enough of it for me to accept how quickly it developed. Also, the male main character (Mmc) turned out to be a bit of a jerk. Guys: if you kiss your female friend and she says she likes you but she just broke up with her douchey boyfriend of two years so she doesn’t want to rush into another relationship so can you just be friends for a bit, and you say no and stop talking to her? That’s a dick move.

Just Ridiculous Enough To Not Be Completely Terrible

28). The Case of the Christmas Diamond an aspiring mystery writer is accused of stealing a priceless diamond when staying with her rich friend’s family for Christmas. It just so happens a famous mystery writer is also staying and helps her clear her name. This felt like a low budget Knives Out with some extra snow and no Chris Evans in a knitted sweater. The fmc even had a quirky tell to show she was lying, which her best friend conveniently forgot about as soon as the accusations started flying. The melodrama was something else, and paired with the weird mysterious music with some added bells for a Christmas vibe, this film achieved peak ridiculousness.

27). The Christmas Toy Maker a successful toy maker has plans to merge her company with another but has to get permission of her former business partner and ex best friend. This was just a bit meh, and I didn’t fully accept the falling out that was behind the premise of the film. It’s saving grace was a volunteer Santa called Nick, who may or may not have been the man himself.

26). A Taste of Italian Christmas Romance Al Dente this film had so many names (My5, IMDB and the film’s credits all disagreed) so I’ve merged them all. The fmc’s cousin is meant to be opening a new Italian restaurant in time for Christmas but gets stuck in Italy due to the weather so the fmc and the grouchy Italian chef decide to surprise her by getting it up and running themselves. There was so much on again/off again with the restaurant opening I thought I was going to get whiplash. The bit that really got me though, was the rival love interest, part of a troupe of Italian carol singers staying in the town, had a perfect Italian accent until she started singing.

So Bad It’s Good

25). Dognapped: Hound for the Holidays when an influencer’s dog gets kidnapped, her put-upon personal assistant must team up with a local vet to track him down. This film was so over the top I couldn’t help but enjoy myself, from the over acting to the incredibly obvious “plot twists”, this film was just plain silly and a lot of fun.

24). Magical Christmas Shoes an accountant who really wants to be an interior designer gets sent a pair of shoes every year for Christmas by her grandma, who claims they are magical. She finds herself trying to revitalise the sweetshop where her parents met and so spending time with the shop owner. Then her awful ex shows up and starts meddling. The premise of this film was already ridiculous and it just kept getting worse. Also I lost count of the number of times the characters said “magical Christmas shoes” – yes we know that’s the name of the film. I loved it.

23). Boyfriends of Christmas Past a quirky take on a Christmas Carol, a workaholic is visited in her dreams by several of her exes to help her understand why she can’t commit to relationships and help her find her true love before it’s too late. This was the first film of the season for me and it set a good standard of silliness. The main characters were likeable but the fmc’s dad was just the cutest.

Actually Pretty Cute

22). Christmas With A Kiss a journalist writing a feature on a small town’s Christmas Carnaval clashes with the opinionated daughter of the carnival organisers, but he has competition from her high school sweetheart. This was a sweet film but relatively forgettable.

21). Under the Christmas Tree a city planner finds the perfect tree for the centrepiece of the city celebrations, she just has to convince the farm owners’ daughter to let her chop it down. This was the only queer film I watched this year, so I will be on the look out for more next year. The best part was the gingerbread house competition for sure.

20). Planes, Trains and Christmas Trees an event planner gets stranded with the family of a former football player after bad weather stops all flights and trains. When his uncle gets injured, she takes over planning the town’s Christmas market. This was sweet and had the community vibe I love in a Christmas film

19). A Lighthouse Christmas/Navigating Christmas (another one where it’s hard to tell what the name is). A single mum takes her teenage son to spend Christmas in a lighthouse where she clashes with the grumpy lighthouse keeper. I enjoyed the family dynamics in this one.

18). A Star For Christmas a hockey player hoping to make it to the big leagues moves to a small town where he stays in the guesthouse of an estate agent home from the big city. After a less than positive first meeting, they soon realise they have more in common than they thought. Assuming the star in the title is the hockey “star”, it makes more sense than the other film with this title. There was a lot to like.

17). Cloudy with a Chance of Christmas a weather presenter gets the chance to cohost the annual snow show for the network but clashes with the other presenters. This hit the brief for quirky small town with fun Christmas traditions without trying too hard.

16). The Christmas Listing two rival estate agents must stay at an inn to compete for the right to sell it. The best thing about this one was how the hosts conspired to present them with matching outfits at every opportunity.

15). A Christmas Mission when a designer is too busy with her shop to go home for the holidays, her high school sweetheart tries to persuade her to visit her family. The main romance was cute but overshadowed by the queer romance between her best friend and his cousin.

14). A Royal Corgi Christmas when the wayward prince of an obscure but vaguely British feeling European country tries to get back in his mother’s good books by getting her a new corgi, the badly behaved dog does not meet with royal approval. Enter an expert dog trainer. This was a good story, with some very cute dogs.

13). How To Fall In Love By Christmas the head of a lifestyle brand faces opposition from her board, unless she can bring in a younger audience. She is persuaded to try out a new dating app and blog about her progress, with some help from a cynical photographer. I loved that this film featured older protagonists.

12). Magic in Mistletoe Country a jaded author of a series of popular Christmas books is persuaded to go home for Christmas by his publicist in the hope that he will rediscover his Christmas spirit. I loved the theme of the power of books, and the banter between the protagonists was adorbs.

11). Christmas Movie Magic a journalist writing an article on the anniversary of a popular Christmas movie discovers a mystery around the muse of its most popular song. This film felt a little meta as it was about the joy of Christmas movies, but I loved the mystery aspect and the ending was super cute.

10). A Timeless Christmas a magical Christmas clock brings an entrepreneur from 1903 to the 21st century, where he meets a museum director who is an expert on his life. I love a bit of time travel and this was cleverly done.

9). The Nine Kittens of Christmas when a box of kittens is abandoned at a fire station, a firefighter teams up with his ex, a vet, to find them all homes. This was a great second chance love story, with a lot of very cute kittens. (Also I love that it’s ended up ranked number 9! That wasn’t planned!)

8). Christmas Ever After a romance writer seeks inspiration at her favourite b&b where she clashes with the oddly familiar owner’s son. The fmc is a wheelchair user played by a disabled actress, but that had no bearing on the plot. Representation at its finest.

I’m Amazed How Much I Enjoyed That

(Most of these are films I was expecting to fit in the So Bad It’s Good category but they surprised me by actually being really good!)

7). The Santa Summit three teachers decide to let loose in the holidays by attending the town’s Santa Summit, where different businesses offer discounts to people dressed as Santa. They reaffirm their friendship, grow in courage and find romance on the way. My favourite storyline was the adorkable maths teacher’s quest for love.

6). A Match Made for Christmas when a business woman’s awful boyfriend dumps her right before he’s meant to join her for Christmas with her family, she decides to employ a stand in boyfriend and hijinks ensue. Fake dating is one of my very favourite romance tropes and this got it perfect.

5). Christmas in Notting Hill an American teacher visiting her sister in London bumps into a famous footballer, but she has no idea who he is. I have been wary of watching hallmark movies set in England after the travesty that was A Very Yorkshire Christmas which I watched last year (to any Americans who may be reading this, if you’re plane has to make an emergency landing in Manchester at Christmas, I promise you you will be able find a hotel, a good cup of coffee and frequent trains. It’s the North of England, they are fairly civilised there). But this film actually felt like the writers had been to England! It even included some fun English Christmas traditions such as crackers and pantomimes. And it was the film I think I was the most emotionally invested in.

4). Love at the Christmas Chalet a novelist decides to relaunch her mother’s annual Christmas writing retreat and reluctantly invites an annoying nonfiction writer. Not only was the main plot super cute, the side romances between her father and a cookbook writer, and her assistant and a budding screenwriter were also adorable. And the setting was stunning. I quite wanted to join the retreat myself.

3). Cooking Up Christmas when an award winning chef finds herself unexpectedly unemployed, she takes a job with the family of a famous baseball player. She has to convince them all that food can be tasty as well as healthy, and helps to build bridges across the different generations of the family. Just really lovely.

2). Joyeux Noel a copy editor and a journalist travel to a small town in France to learn the history behind a mysterious painting. If I was wary about watching films set in England, the same goes for France, but this was actually really great. It was the perfect grumpy/sunny romance and super sweet.

And the best of them all…

1). Catch Me If You Claus when a news reporter finds a strange man in her home on Christmas Eve who claims to be Santa’s son Chris, hilarity ensues. With such a bad punny title I had really low expectations but this film had me in stitches throughout. From the dynamics between the protagonists, to the security guard in his golf cart, from the serious message of learning to step out of the shadow of a successful parent to the silliness of the mob scenes, this film hit every note perfectly and I loved it. It is definitely one that I will rewatch each year.

So that’s my rundown of the cheesy Christmas films I’ve been watching. Have you seen any of them? What’s your favourite film to watch at Christmas?